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R. Steve Ucag
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Number of posts : 434
Age : 38
Location : Al Ain, Abu Dhabi/Jamindan Capiz (Sa guilid sang SUBA)
Humor : Ampekpek Naman ohh.. Wahahahah
Job/hobbies : Taga bilang ng Pera na hindi akin/Mag pa cute sa Kalye...
Reputation : 10
Registration date : 2007-10-11

PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Fri Feb 08, 2008 12:52 am

Ano ang tawag sa boobs na maliit? ABOT-KAMAY,
ano naman ang tawg sa boobs na malaki? KAPOS-PALAD,
eh sa flat-chested? SAWING-PALAD.

Anong pinagkaiba ng ulap sa pubic hair?
A .yung ulap pag hinawi mo,ulap parin,
B. yung pubic hair pag hinawi mo langit na.

_________________
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R. Steve Ucag
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Number of posts : 434
Age : 38
Location : Al Ain, Abu Dhabi/Jamindan Capiz (Sa guilid sang SUBA)
Humor : Ampekpek Naman ohh.. Wahahahah
Job/hobbies : Taga bilang ng Pera na hindi akin/Mag pa cute sa Kalye...
Reputation : 10
Registration date : 2007-10-11

PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Fri Feb 08, 2008 12:53 am

Joey: "Ano ang favorite movie mo, Tagalog o English?"
Discorama Girl contestant: "BOT!"
Vic: "So favorite mo talaga si Edgar Mortiz!"
****************
Joe Quirino: "Sharon, are you familiar with the current problems we
have in the film industry?"
Sharon: "Sorry, Tito Joe, I'm afraid not."
JQ: "What about you Myra, what can you say?"
Myra Manibog: "Naku Tito Joe, I'm afraid also!"

Update Date March 17, 2003
Submitted by gg522 of Fort Worth, TX.

Joey de Leon: "How are you?"
Miss Gay Philippines contestant: "How are you too!"
*****************
Eddie Mercado: "Angie Dickinson has insured her legs for a million
dollars, would you also do the same?"
Melanie Marquez: "No, of course no, because I am proud and
contented with my long legged." With this answer, she bagged the crown and
eventually won the Miss International in 1978.
*****************
Joe Cantada interviewing Freddie Hubalde (of Crispa) after winning
MVP in the All-Filipino League
Joe: "Congratulations Freddie. What can you say after winning the
championship and the MVP?"
Freddie: "Ahh... I want to tengk my paderr... Ahh... My maderr..
and ahh...most especially... my parents..."
******************

Update Date March 24, 2003
Submitted by gg522 of Fort Worth, TX.

JULIE YAP DAZA GUESTING ON VILMA!
JULIE: "O Vi nag-guest na ko dito sa show. Ikaw,kailan ka naman
mag-ge-guest sa show ko?"
VILMA: "Alam mo naman Tita Julie, busy kami ni Ralph sa
pag-a-arrange ng kasal namin. Siguro pagkatapos na lang ng
marriage!"
******************
"Salamat po sa Board of Judges. Ito na ho yata ang pinakamaligaya
kong pasko at manigong bagong taon sa inyong lahat."
- MELANIE MARQUEZ'S ACCEPTANCE SPEECH FOR WINNING BEST ACTRESS
IN A METRO FILMFEST

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cherryline cusay
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Number of posts : 117
Age : 37
Location : Jamindan
Humor : was lustiges
Job/hobbies : sleeping 24 hours a day
Registration date : 2007-12-04

PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:09 am

sonia: Ano ba ang nagustuhan mo sa boyfriend mong kundoktor?


evhan: Pabalik-balik siya at laging nakatay

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Sabi mo, nasaktan ka nang malaman mo na may mahal na akong iba.

Ako ba, tinanong mo kung nasaktan ako nu’ng mag-ovenight tayo sa Anito… kahit alam mong virgin pa ako?!


%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Sa loob ng simbahan ng Quiapo, isang batang pulubi ang mataimtim na nanalangin sa Diyos.


Pulubi: "Panginoon kung maaari po sana ay bigyan ninyo ako ng sampung piso dahil gutom na gutom na lang po ako."


Narinig sya ng isang pulis na kasalukuyan ding nagsisimba at
bumilib sya sa katatagan ng bata sa pananampalataya sa Diyos. Sa
kanyang habag ay dumukot sya ng limang piso at iniabot sa bata na ang
sabi: "Amang, narinig ng Diyos ang panalangin mo at heto tanggapin mo
ang perang ito at ibili mo ng pagkain".


Tumingala ang bata sa pulis, kinuha nya ang limang pisong iniabot
at muling yumuko para manalangin: "Panginoon, salamat po sa pagdinig
ninyo sa aking panalangin, pero sana naman po sa uli-uli wag na ninyong
pararaanin pa sa pulis, kasi malaki na ang bawas".

%%%%%%%%%%
Bagong Kasal


Misis: Honey, malapit na tayong maging tatlo dito sa bahay.


Mister: Talaga ba Honey? Pinasaya mo ako sa balita mo!


Misis: Oo, dito na titira ang Nanay ko!!
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cherryline cusay
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Number of posts : 117
Age : 37
Location : Jamindan
Humor : was lustiges
Job/hobbies : sleeping 24 hours a day
Registration date : 2007-12-04

PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:17 am

Mataas ang Timbang




Pedro: Pare, sobrang taba talaga ng Misis ko kaya't gusto niyang magbawas ng timbang!


Pablo: Sabihin mo sa Misis na mag Horseback riding siya.


Makaraan ang dalawang buwan.


Pedro: Kumusta naman ang resulta ng Horseback Riding !


Pablo: Nabawasan ng 40 Kilos ang kabayo!!
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lyn 'aranda' villasis
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Number of posts : 238
Age : 36
Location : sa bukid..
Humor : The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up!
Job/hobbies : nagahilamon sa uyapad !!ag taga pulot lata sa kalzada..
Reputation : ......
Registration date : 2007-10-20

PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Tue Feb 12, 2008 8:41 am

KODIGO

Nahuling may kodigo ang estudyante.. .
Guro: Ano 'to?
Estudyante: Prayer ko po, ma'am!
Guro: At bakit answers ang nakasulat?
Estudyante: Naku! Sinagot na ang prayers ko! hahahaha



SA BAKERY

Pulubi: Palimos po ng cake.
Ale: Aba, sosyal ka ah! Namalimos ka lang, gusto mo pang cake.. eto pandesal!
Pulubi: Duh! Ate?! Bday ko kaya today?!? nyhahhahaha



ANAK: Tay mag-ingat kayo sa DANKTRAK!.
TATAY: ano ung danktrak?
ANAK: Yunn pong trak na 10 ang gulong na karga buhangin?
TATAY: Tanga inde danktrak un...TEN MILLER!!!hehehe



DOC: umubo ka!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: ubo pa!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: okay.
PEDRO: ano po ba sakit ko doc?
DOC: may ubo ka.
lol!

BOY1: nakakakawa naman lola mo.
BOY2: bakit?
BOY1: nakasabay ko kasi magsimba nung isang araw, ubo ng ubo. Pinagtitinginan nga ng tao.
BOY2: papansin lang yun!
BOY1: bakit?
BOY2: bago kasi blouse niya! lol!
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R 'kiko' Villasis
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Humor : anything humorous
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Tue Feb 12, 2008 1:07 pm

bago rin ba blouse mo..... ubo ka rin ng ubo eh....
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lyn 'aranda' villasis
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Humor : The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up!
Job/hobbies : nagahilamon sa uyapad !!ag taga pulot lata sa kalzada..
Reputation : ......
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Thu Feb 14, 2008 8:30 am

tongue lolo kiko my lagnat ka yata Shocked hehehe
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R 'kiko' Villasis
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Sun Feb 17, 2008 6:46 pm

dip-oti abi kon mainit...?
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lyn 'aranda' villasis
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Number of posts : 238
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Location : sa bukid..
Humor : The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up!
Job/hobbies : nagahilamon sa uyapad !!ag taga pulot lata sa kalzada..
Reputation : ......
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Mon Feb 18, 2008 7:33 am

WAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA,,,,SUPER LAMIG NYHAHHAHHAH
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R 'kiko' Villasis
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Mon Feb 18, 2008 8:36 pm

sa noo mo hawakan hindi sa pwet... hahahaha
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lyn 'aranda' villasis
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Job/hobbies : nagahilamon sa uyapad !!ag taga pulot lata sa kalzada..
Reputation : ......
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Tue Feb 19, 2008 7:04 am

Anak ,

Medyo mabagal akong magsulat ngayon dahil alam
kong mabagal ka ring magbasa. Nandito na kami sa
Estados Unidos para bantayan ang bagong biling
bahay ng kapatid mo.
Pero hindi ko maibigay sa iyo ang address dahil
dinala ng dating nakatira
ang address para daw hindi na sila magpalit ng
address.

Maganda ang lugar na ito at malayo sa Manila .
Dalawang beses lang umulan sa linggong ito,
tatlong araw noong una at
apat na araw noong pangalawa.

Nakakainis lang ang mga paninda dito katulad nun
nabili ko na shampoo dahil ayaw bumula.
Nakasulat kasi "FOR DRY HAIR" kaya hindi ko
binabasa ang buhok ko pag ginagamit ko. Mamaya ay
ibabalik ko sa Walmart at magrereklamo ako.

Noong isang araw naman ay hindi ako makapasok sa
bahay dahil ayaw bumukas ng padlock. Nakasulat
kasi
ay "YALE", eh aba namalat na ako sa kasisigaw ay
hindi pa din
bumubukas. Magrereklamo din
ako sa nagbenta ng bahay, akala nila hindi ko
alam na SIGAW ang tagalog ng "YALE",
wise yata ito!

Mayroon nga pala akong nabili na magandang
jacket at tiyak na magugustuhan mo. Ipinadala ko
na sa iyo
sa "Federal Express" medyo mahal daw dahil
mabigat
ang mga
butones kaya ang ginawa ko ay tinanggal ko na lang
ang mga butones at inilagay
ko na lang sa bulsa ng jacket. Ikabit mo na lang
pag dating diyan.

Nagpadala rin ako ng tseke para sa mga nasalanta
ng bagyo , hindi ko na pinirmahan dahil gusto ko na
maging anonymous donor. Nakakahiya naman kung
ipagkakalat ko pa.

Ang kapatid mo palang si Jhun ay may trabaho na
dito, mayroon siyang 500 na tao sa ilalim niya. Nag-
gugupit siya ngayon ng damo sa memorial park, okey
naman ang kita
above minimum ang sahod.

Nakapanganak na rin pala ang ate baby mo, hindi
ko pa alam kung babae o lalake kaya hindi ko pa
masasabi na kung ikaw
ay bagong uncle or auntie.
Wala na akong masyadong balita. Sumulat ka na
lang ng madalas.

Love,
Mama

p.s. Maglalagay sana ako ng pera, kaya lang ay
naisara ko na ang envelope. Next time na lang ha..
lol!
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R 'kiko' Villasis
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Humor : anything humorous
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Tue Feb 19, 2008 11:48 am

Alam mo lyn parang nakikita kita dyan sa kwento ng joke mo... wahahahahaha
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Sonia 'Villasis' Mapoy
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Humor : marami
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Registration date : 2007-09-02

PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Tue Feb 19, 2008 5:38 pm

.....Washing Machine......
May isang probinsyana na pumasok bilang katulong sa maynila.

Amo: Inday maglaba ka na kc tambak na ang labahan dyan.
Ka2long: Yis mam! Saan po ako maglalaba mam?
Amo: Dyan sa washing machine...
Ka2long: Oki mam...

Makalips ang kalhating oras hinanap ng amo ang katulong nya hindi na makita...

Amo: Inday! Inday! nasaan ka na?

Sumagot ang katulong...

Ka2long: Mam d2 po ako nag lalaba sa loob ng washing machine....
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Sonia 'Villasis' Mapoy
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Tue Feb 19, 2008 5:42 pm

gma and erap


GMA: Ano bang hinahanap mo dyan sa 3 in 1 coffee mo at kanina ka pa silip nang silip dyan?

Erap: Hinahanap ko yung libreng asukal! May nakasulat kasi na "Sugarfree."

GMA: Bobo! Banda yun! ano ka ba...
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Sonia 'Villasis' Mapoy
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Tue Feb 19, 2008 5:51 pm

Pasahe


Sa Isang Jeep


Pasahero: Mama, Magkano Po Yung Pasahe?


Driver: 7.50 Yung Minimum


Pasahero: (Dumukot Ito Sa Bulsa Para Kunin Yung Pera Niya, Ngunit
sa Di Sinasadyang Dahilan Kulang Yung Pamasahe Niya.) Patay, Kulang
Yung Pera Ko. Paano Kaya Ito? (Nag Isip Ito At Lumingon Sa Driver.
Napansin Niya Na Duling Ito. Sabi Niya Sa Kanyang Sarili, Tama Duling
Yung Driver Sigurado Pag Nagbigay Ako Ng 3.75 di Niya Mapapansin Na
Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Kasi Doble Yung Paningin Nito. Inabot Niya Sa
Driver Yung Pera.


Ngunit Laking Gulat Niya Nung May Sinabi Yung Driver Sa Kanya.


Driver: Kulang Ito!


Pasahero: Anong Kulang? Di Ba Sabi Mo 7.50 Yung Minimum?


Driver: Oo Nga 7.50 eh Dalawa Kaya Kayo.

Akala Mo Lusot Kana ha?
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chaoe15
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Humor : i hav lots of it..but twas kept under my closet!
Job/hobbies : VP sec/surfing d net
Reputation : wafah!!
Registration date : 2008-02-08

PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Wed Feb 20, 2008 3:44 pm

A little girl was walking along a beach in California when
she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspaper
covering his genitals.
The little girl said, "What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?"
The man said, "Nothing, it's just a bird, now go away!"
The man thought nothing of her and quickly fell asleep.
Hours later, the man woke up in a hospital bed in excrutiating pain.
"Where the hell am I?"
A doctor replied, "Someone called 9-1-1 and said you needed emergency
help, so we rushed you right over."
"Well, what the hell happened to me?"
"We don't know, son. Do you remember anything unusual happening
to you today?"
The man said, "Well, there was a little girl bugging me just
before I fell asleep."
The doctor sent someone to the beach to see if the little girl was
still there, and she was. The person said, "Do you know what happened
to that nice man you saw here earlier?"
"Well," the little girl said, "I started to play with that nice little
bird that he had and the damn thing spit on me. So, I wrung its neck,
broke its eggs, and set its nest on fire!"
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Humor : i hav lots of it..but twas kept under my closet!
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Reputation : wafah!!
Registration date : 2008-02-08

PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Wed Feb 20, 2008 3:48 pm

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove
a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the
exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old man says without hesitation
"I now pronounce you man and wife".
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joanne_ricaforte
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Humor : brrrpp??
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Reputation : dream on!
Registration date : 2008-02-19

PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Thu Feb 21, 2008 8:58 am

A drunk is sitting at a bar when a woman stands behind him and
raises her arm really high to get the bartender's attention.

She has very hairy armpits. The drunk sees this and yells at the
bartender, "Get the ballerina a drink."

She gets her drink and goes away.

Later she returns and raises her arm again. The drunk sees her
and yells to the bartender, "Get the ballerina another drink."
She gets her drink and goes away again.

The bartender asks the drunk how he knows that she is a ballerina
given that she is a stranger and has never been in the bar before.

The drunk replies, "She's got to be a ballerina if she can lift
her leg that high."
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R 'kiko' Villasis
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Thu Feb 21, 2008 5:52 pm

lasing kaya sya o baka naman duling..... lol!
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Sonia 'Villasis' Mapoy
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Thu Feb 21, 2008 7:50 pm

FILIPINO DICTIONARY PARA SA MGA NAKAKALIMOT...

Abuloy --- bayad sa nahigop na kape at nanguyang biskwit sa nilamayang sakla.

Akala ---- alam na alam daw.
Aginaldo ---- inaasahan na makukuha sa araw ng Pasko na mas okay sana kung
pera na lang.
Bakasyon --- sandaliang pahinga sa trabahong hingal lang ang pahinga.
Bakit? ---- tanong na laging mahirap masagot.
Bakya ---- tsinelas na may takong.
Baga ----- lutuan ng mga hindi makabili ng microwave.
Bagoong -- masarap na ulam ng mga walang maiulam.
Baldado --- hindi mamamatay-matay na mukhang hindi na mabubuhay.
Bale ---- suweldong inutang.
Batugan --- taong hindi alam ang salitang trabaho
Kaaway --- ikli ng 'kaibigan na Inayawan.'
Kababata --- dating gelpren na may iba nang boypren.
Kabag ---- utot na naipon sa tiyan.
Kabayo --- hayop na sinasakyan ng kalesa.
Kalbo ---- gupit ng buhok na korteng itlog.
Dalaginding --- dalagang hindi pa nagsusuot ng bra.
Dilim ---- liwanag na maitim.
E -------- ireng paseksi.
Gahasa --- romansang walang ligawan.
Ginang --- asawa ni ginoo na mukha nang tsimay.
Ginoo ---- inaasawa ni ginang na may inaasawang iba.
Gipit ---- kalagayan ng tao na suki na ng sanglaan.
Ha!? ------- sagot ng nagbibingi-bingihan.
Halakhak --- tawang bukang-buka ang bibig at kita ang ngala-ngala.
Handaan --- magdamagan na palakihan ng tiyan.
Handog --- bigay na laging may kapalit.
Hipo ----- haplos na may malisya.
Hudas ---- tapat na manloloko.
Ibon ----- hayop na lumalangoy sa Hangin.
Imposible --- pagtaas ng unano.
Insulto --- walang hiyang biro.
Isda ------ hayop na hindi Nalulunod.
Ita ------- negrong Pinoy.
'La -------- ikli ng 'lalalalala' sa kinakantang hindi maalala.
Lalawigan --- lugar ng kahirapan.
Langaw ---- kulisap na bangung-bango sa amoy ng basura.
Ma - ------- tawag sa gelpren na mukhang nanay na.
Malusog --- hitsura ng tumatabang balat.
Mama ------ tawag sa sosyal na ina.
Maynila --- lugar na pinangarap marating ng mga taga lalawigan upang doon
naman dumanas ng kahirapan
Mano ------ kaugaliang Pinoy na nakapupudpod ng noo.
Mantika --- katas ng piniritong taba.
Maybahay -- asawang utusan sa bahay.
Nakaw ----- pagkuha ng walang pasabing 'akin na lang ito.'
Naku ------ ikli ng 'ina ko, ina na ako.'
Nitso ----- bahay ng mga patay.
Nobya ----- gelpren na laking probinsya.
Ngalngal -- iyak ng walang ipen.
Ngisi ----- tawang tulo-laway.
Ngiti ----- tawang labas ipen.
Paa ------- bahagi ng katawan na amoy lupa.
Paaralan -- dito itinuturo kung ano, alin o sino ang mapipiling bobo.
Panata ---- dasal na nakatataba ng tuhod.
Regla ----- masungit na panahon ng pagkababae.
Sabon ----- mabangong bagay na ipinapahid sa mabahong katawan.
Sakristan --- utusan ng pari.
Sampal ---- haplos na nakatitigas ng mukha.
'Ta -------- ikli ng 'tita' o lalaking may bra.
Tamad ----- taong hindi napapagod sa pahinga








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joanne_ricaforte
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Fri Feb 22, 2008 9:15 am

The Perfect Worker

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.

Addendum:

That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered
lines.
scratch
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Fri Feb 22, 2008 2:40 pm

ANG MGA PRUTAS NA MAKASALANAN...

3 lalaki ang nagkasala sa isang tribu. si Juan, si Pedro at si Berto.

CHIEF: Bilang parusa sa inyong mga kasalanan, magdala kayo ng 10 prutas na parepareho at bumalik kayo dito.
Unang bumalik si JUAN may dalang 10 santol

CHIEF : ipasok mo lahat ang santol sa pwet mo, pag ikaw nangiwi o nangiti papatayin ka.
Pinasok ni JUAN unang santol, nangiwi sya. PATAY si JUAN.

Sunod na dumating si pedro may dalang 10 ubas.
CHIEF : ipasok mo lahat ang ubas sa pwet mo, pag ikaw nangiwi o nangiti papatayin ka.
Pinasok ni pedro ang mga ubas sa pwet nya, napa ngiti sya nung pinapasok na nya ang pang 10 na ubas...PATAY din si PEDRO.

Sa langit nagkita si PEDRO at JUAN
JUAN : buhay ka pa sana pedro kung di ka nangiti sa pang sampung ubass, bakit ka ba nangiti?
PEDRO : nang pinapasok ko na kase ang pang 10 ubas nakita ko sa BERTO parating na may dalang sampung LANGKA.
lol!
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joanne_ricaforte
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Registration date : 2008-02-19

PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Tue Feb 26, 2008 4:54 pm

[center]THE (nosebleed ito!)[/center]
We' ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya. And then, he came over with me. He said, "I hope you don't mine. Can I get your number?" Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla siya. Sagot niya, The! Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears.

Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we'll go ouch na rin. Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time. After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. "Will you marriage me?" I'm in a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! This is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces. Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we have here." What the fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this to get our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling her boyfriend. Ats if! I don't want to portrait the role of the other woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, "please, mine you own business!" Who would believe her anyway?

Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy. Even my boyfriend said liketwice. He's so supportive. Sabi niya, "Look at is this way. She's our of our lives."

Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. Just burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts. If you make a mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your soul. I second emotion.
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Mon Mar 17, 2008 1:22 am

wahahahahah....

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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!   Tue Mar 18, 2008 2:51 pm

I know this lawyers
A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial-a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail within 3 minutes!"
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