Fun Emails.... just want to share!

Subject: Fun Emails.... just want to share! Tue Jun 17, 2008 1:20 pm

7 reasons not to mess with children.

1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was..

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a minute."

3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

4. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

6. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

7. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only, ONE God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

Subject: To All Parents Tue Jun 17, 2008 1:23 pm

Daddy,,,,

Ipagpaumanhin nyo ni Mommy ang pagsulat ko sa inyo
para ipaalam na akoy aalis na sa inyong poder.
Ako'y sasama na sa aking bagong boyfriend na si
Mark dahil gusto kong takasan na kayo ni Mommy. Natagpuan ko na kay Mark and tunay na pagmamahal at napakabait nya sa akin, napaka malambing nya hindi tulad ng iba kong naging boyfriend. Alam ko na pag nakilala nyo sya ay magugustuhan nyo din siya, lalo na ang kanyang mga hikaw, tattoo nya sa lahat ng parte ng kanyang katawan at ang pang motorsiklo nyang damit.

Hindi lang sa pagkakaiba nya Dad kaya ko sya mahal na mahal, eto ay dahil sa buntis ako at sabi ni Mark na gusto nyang magkaanak sya sa akin para lalo kaming sumaya sa aming pagsasama. Kahit na matanda sya sa akin (42 na sya Dad, di pa naman matanda sa ngayon and edad nya
diba?) kahit na wala syang pera, di naman eto hadlang sa aming relasyon,
hindi ba Dad? Syanga pala Dad, maraming CD collection si Mark, meron din
syang trailer na truck na kung saan doon kami magsasama, pinakang bahay na namin ang trailer, at marami na rin syang stock na panggatong para magamit namin sa buong buwan ng taglamig. Totoo na meron pa syang ibang girlfriend pero alam ko na magiging tapat sya sa akin sa kanyang sariling pamamaraan, sa katunayan gusto nyang marami kaming anak at eto ang isa sa aking ambisyon. Tinuruan na nga pala nya akong humithit ng marijuana at masarap ang pakiramdam, sa katunayan nagtanim na sya para ipagpalit sa aming mga kaibigan ng shabu, ecstasy na gusto namin.

Dad, sana ipagdasal mo na matuklasan na ang gamot sa AIDS para gumaling na si Mark, kasi deserving naman sya na gumaling!! Huwag kang mag alala Dad 15 years old na ako at alam ko na kung paano pangalagaan ang aking sarili.

Makikita mo Dad, ipagmamalaki mo rin ako at balang araw bibisita kami sa
inyo para naman makilala mo ang iyong mga apo.

Nagmamahal mong anak,

Clarence

PS: Dad, hindi totoo mga sinabi ko sa sulat. Nandito lang ako sa kapitbahay, pinapaalala ko lang sa iyo na mas marami pang dapat ikatakot sa buhay kesa aking report card na nasa drawer. Pakipirmahan na lang po at tawagan ako kung safe na akong umuwi dyan sa bahay.

I love you

Subject: GROCERY LIST Tue Jun 17, 2008 1:29 pm

Louise Redden, a poorly dressed lady with a look of defeat on her face, walked into a grocery store.

She approached the owner of the store in a most humble manner and asked if he would let her charge a few groceries.
She softly explained that her husband was very ill and unable to work, they had seven children and they needed food.
John Longhouse, the grocer, scoffed at her and requested that she leave his store at once.
Visualizing the family needs, she said: "Please, sir! I will bring you the money just as
soon as I can."
John told her he could not give her credit, since she did not have a charge account at his store.
Standing beside the counter was a customer who overheard the conversation between the two. The customer walked forward and told the grocer that he would stand good for whatever she needed for her family.
The grocer said in a very reluctant voice, "Do you have a grocery list?"
Louise replied, "Yes sir." "O.K" he said, "put your grocery list on the scales and whatever your grocery list weighs, I will give you that amount in
groceries."
Louise, hesitated a moment with a bowed head, then she reached into her purse and took out a piece of paper and scribbled something on it. She then laid the piece of paper on the scale carefully with her head still bowed.
The eyes of the grocer and the customer showed amazement when the scales went down and stayed down.
The grocer, staring at the scales, turned slowly to the customer and said begrudgingly, "I can't believe it."
The customer smiled and the grocer started putting the groceries on the other side of the scales. The scale did not balance so he continued to put more and more groceries on them until the scales would hold no more.
The grocer stood there in utter disgust. Finally, he grabbed the piece of paper from the scales and looked at it with greater amazement.
It was not a grocery list, it was a prayer, which said:
"Dear Lord, you know my needs and I am leaving this in your hands."
The grocer gave her the groceries that he had gathered and stood in stunned silence.
Louise thanked him and left the store.
The other customer handed a fifty-dollar bill to the grocer and said;
"It was worth every penny of it . Only God Knows how much a prayer weighs."

Subject: Re: Fun Emails.... just want to share! Fri Apr 03, 2009 5:02 pm

hello everyone!

Subject: Re: Fun Emails.... just want to share! Fri Apr 03, 2009 7:37 pm

You will laugh your heads out after you finish reading this!!! (Nice One
from
Readers Digest)

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent
that we
would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans. Some
months
later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I
lived
in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late
because I
had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of
baked
beans
was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would
walk
off
any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and
before
I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way
home, I
made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed
excited
to see me and exclaimed delightedly:

'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.' He then blindfolded me and
led me
to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to
remove
my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the
blindfold
until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had
consumed were
still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while
my
husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to
one leg
and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer
truck

running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then,
shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse
than
stinking cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in
the
other
room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was
indescribable.
When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I
quickly
fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and
folded my
hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,
apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had
not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated
around
the table chorused:

'Happy Birthday!'!!

I nearly died!!! lol!

Subject: Love Story Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:29 pm

]10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year

The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone
went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:
I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!
I wish I did too... I thought to my self, and I cried.

i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u [/color][/color][/color]

Subject: Re: Fun Emails.... just want to share! Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:44 pm

it's been a very very long time since the last time i was able to chat with so many people here. i guess everybody's so damn busy... when was the last time somebody set up a grand chat? i misssed that already.. and whatever happened to hellos and hi...?!?hehehehe hello gle to everybody...

Subject: Re: Fun Emails.... just want to share! Fri May 01, 2009 1:20 am

i mizz you all guyz!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Graduation to all Graduates
we proud of you.. God Bless you all....

Subject: Re: Fun Emails.... just want to share! Wed Jul 08, 2009 4:48 pm

tnx for sharing.. Smile